Desperation:

                     to need to the point of hallucination; to want beyond the farthest reaches of human possibility; to hunger for something more; foolishness; hopelessness; starting to get careless; violently convulsing; on the floor; withdraws; too many deposits; bankrupt heart; slowing; slowing; deoxygenized lungs; can't breathe; can't breathe; my violet-ice bloodstream; nicotine; nicotine; no use; tears too dry to count.